the-reason-i-am-here-post
hey there and welcome to my first ever kind of online diary!
this feels a bit weird because of two reasons. i am used to write diary, in some times more and in some times not at all, but this here is new to me because of:
number one: normally i write my diary in german, my mother-language. so it feels strange to write and think in english.
and number two: i never ever have written a kind of diary with the goal in mind to post it in public. normally it is just for me to reflect my self, but i like the idea, that others can and probably will read it also. so i thought i give it a try.
so this week i am feeling good. very good. the last weeks was kind of hard for me. i don`t know if it`s just procrastination or even a small depression but i was doing nothing for me or my study. instead i was playing video games, watching youtube or doom-scrolling on instagram or facebook. and two weeks ago i also had a really really bad (online) class at my university which i needed to do but had not a single bit of fun with it. normally i would have stopped the seminar right away, when i don`t like it and think it is not worth my time. but at this time i really needed the credit points. but i hated it. short side explenation aside: in my branch of study i have a big free choice of which classes i take and in what topic i specialise in. so i mostly select my classes based on the theme and the fact that i (will) enjoy it. because the class was also held online i didn`t leave my house at all.
so around the end of last week and the beginning of this week i kind of decided that i need to change something. don`t get me wrong i know that social media especially instagram and youtube are bad for me and my mental health. and i had a lot of these so called "digital detoxes" with a various kind of rule sets, but in the end i keep getting back to old habits. even with my effort in digital minimalism. but this is a different topic i want to write about on this blog, but separately. this time i didn`t fully decide to give it a shot or to give me a rule set. it just naturally came, because i did it so often and i know how to do it. a big different is that i started my blog on neocities and i think it helps me a lot.
because here i can do something with a purpose, at least for me and i am being creative and started to code again. both things i really do enjoy. i enjoy that i don`t have any boundaries here and everything is on me. i can decide what the blog should look like. i can decide what i want to include here and what to write about. this whole stuff is on me. everything is my choice from the name, the layout to the content. and i like it and i think it helps me. because in my now earned free time i can work on my blog and also look at other blogs and get inspiration. i also like to programm in the "old way", just static html pages. during my time at a web-agency i learned to work with javascript frameworks. and yeah it`s a lot easier when you do big projects but at the same time it can get even harder to understand, to maintain and to host. here it is just simple, basic html and css and i like it. during my time in the agency i worked mostly as a javascript developer which was mostly fun but now i am starting to realise or more to question: do we really need all those fancy websites with tones of features and visuals? i am not sure. so i like this approach of these so called "indie-web".
in the last weeks during my linux and free software research (will write about that in upcomming linux journey blogs) i also found a website or to say better three websites i really like and they made me really laugh. maybee you will like them also. it is kind of a series of the same idea. but small content note it includes a lot of swearwords:
this is a motherfucking website
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this is a better motherfucking website
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this is the best motherfucking websites
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ok i think this is all i have time for today. i really like the idea of just writing and not overthink it, so hopefully i can put this post online today. fyi: i am currently on my way back to my hometown from my university via train and very soon i have an appointment. so i don`t have time to upload it right away. at the beginning i thought i would write about other stuff, but i think i like how it turned out. its kind of a the-reason-i-am-here-post. maybee i will title it that way. we will see. you will see for sure